whew....really nice the contrast between the breathe and where they find themselves...the tree of no fruit, also like the under over in that one line...winters graveyard seems so cold...smiles.
Very evocative, Jennifer, and beautifully structured: "breath . . . winter's graveyard" - with powerful images of what I took to be enduring, even growing, in a dark place.
you can create landscapes and the depth of feelings with few words. it's so rare. this is quite amazing.. i imagine a rose, bright as a scarlet flame, on the snow in a somber winter forest..and someone silently waiting for the beloved..thank you for such poetic beauty, Jennifer~
See, this is why I love your poems. A lot of people would have written that first line as "I feel your breath on me" or "Your breath on me is comforting" or some boring snooze like that. But you say "Adorn me with your breath", and that's the difference between poetry and a nap. Your choice of the word "Adorn" makes the whole thing. It's close enough to suggest 'adore", and whether or not you had that in mind, one only adorns something capable of beauty, something that is valuable enough, already, to merit attention and care. You do that with one word.
"underneath the overgrowth" flows off the tongue so pleasingly. I want to sit here like a moron and repeat it a few times, just because it sounds so nice phonetically, and with the under/over.
You use "needle" as a verb. A lot of nouns see service as verbs these days, and i hate it about 98% of the time, but this time, it works beautifully.
I'm swooning with all the poetic praise Miss Fireblossom. Really Shay, you have made my day. Your appraisal of my work really means a lot as I consider you to have quite an amazing talent for writing. And you took my piece exactly as intended. Love it when someone gets it.
Great hopefulness springs out of that first verse. My sister has "beauty for ashes" tatooed on her foot (random I know!) and so I'm familiar with its scriptural background. Lovely to read this :)
Wow, such strong images of breath giving life to death. Quite beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteThank you lori :)
Deletewhew....really nice the contrast between the breathe and where they find themselves...the tree of no fruit, also like the under over in that one line...winters graveyard seems so cold...smiles.
ReplyDeleteBrrr. I'm partial to the under over in that line too...thank you so much Brian.
DeleteVery evocative, Jennifer, and beautifully structured: "breath . . . winter's graveyard" - with powerful images of what I took to be enduring, even growing, in a dark place.
ReplyDeleteWendy, thank you so much. I love the way you took the imagery. Spot on.
Deleteoh i like...what a wonderful metaphor..sleeping in winter's graveyard..beautiful
ReplyDeleteI like it when you like--great poet that you are!
DeleteFeelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then then 'winter's graveyard'--delicious!
ReplyDeleteA wonderful compliment, thank you!
Deleteyou can create landscapes and the depth of feelings with few words. it's so rare. this is quite amazing..
ReplyDeletei imagine a rose, bright as a scarlet flame, on the snow in a somber winter forest..and someone silently waiting for the beloved..thank you for such poetic beauty, Jennifer~
yelena, i could say the same about your poetry...i am absolutely smitten with your writing. I'm so honored by your appraisal of mine~
DeleteThe first line is wonderful - it caught me.
ReplyDeleteThank you p-d.
DeleteYou capture so much, in very few words...wonderful imagery:-))
ReplyDeleteCaught me, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks MJD.
DeleteGreat imagery in this. enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteThanks much sir.
DeleteOh my! Your poem engaged me from the first line and I liked your description of winter. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. The piece you shared this week is on my Love list! Amazing write there :)
Delete"adorn me with your breath"
ReplyDeletebeautiful, as is the entire poem! really love this!
♥
Thank you Dani, kind of you to say so :)
DeleteI like the idea that it takes only one's BREATH to make someone / something flower and grow. I take your whole poem as a metaphor. Nice.
ReplyDeleteYou've taken it as I intended Mary. Thanks for reading!
DeleteI can imagine your flowering and growing with the adornment of your lover's breath. Lovely this image!
ReplyDeleteBeggar and Buddha
Mark, thank you very much!
DeleteAbsolutely love this poem! You are one extremely talented poet, another beautiful write.
ReplyDeleteOh heck Lisa, you flatter me! I am so humbled, your poetry is one of my online favorites. Thank you so much lady.
DeleteSee, this is why I love your poems. A lot of people would have written that first line as "I feel your breath on me" or "Your breath on me is comforting" or some boring snooze like that. But you say "Adorn me with your breath", and that's the difference between poetry and a nap. Your choice of the word "Adorn" makes the whole thing. It's close enough to suggest 'adore", and whether or not you had that in mind, one only adorns something capable of beauty, something that is valuable enough, already, to merit attention and care. You do that with one word.
ReplyDelete"underneath the overgrowth" flows off the tongue so pleasingly. I want to sit here like a moron and repeat it a few times, just because it sounds so nice phonetically, and with the under/over.
You use "needle" as a verb. A lot of nouns see service as verbs these days, and i hate it about 98% of the time, but this time, it works beautifully.
I'm swooning with all the poetic praise Miss Fireblossom. Really Shay, you have made my day. Your appraisal of my work really means a lot as I consider you to have quite an amazing talent for writing. And you took my piece exactly as intended. Love it when someone gets it.
DeleteI like the thought of life flowering beneath the sleeping ground, nice write.
ReplyDeleteI like it too. Thanks rch.
Deletepithy and poignant.beautifully done.
ReplyDeleteThanks very much Abin. Always appreciate you reading my work.
DeleteBeautiful piece. Love the first line!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kiana. :)
DeleteThis piece is so lovely and encouraging. It takes but a little love and attention to nurture goodness from a dark place.
ReplyDeleteOr a lot of it...smiles...thank you Kim.
DeleteThis is so beautifully done! Wow--you had me a the first line--
ReplyDeleteLovely to have your praise Audrey!
DeleteSpectacularly well done, all of it, and I especially love its closing lines.
ReplyDeleteSherry-always appreciate your thoughts and encouragement on my work. Thank you.
DeleteLove the implied cycle of life, of birth coming from the deep of winter.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading today Mario :)
DeleteBeautiful! I thoroughly enjoy your poetry.
ReplyDeleteThanks very much ma'am!
DeleteGreat hopefulness springs out of that first verse. My sister has "beauty for ashes" tatooed on her foot (random I know!) and so I'm familiar with its scriptural background. Lovely to read this :)
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a cool tattoo. Love that you picked up on the reference. Love your work ND, and I so appreciate you leaving your thoughts here.
Deletenice images
ReplyDeletehades gate
Sweet :)
ReplyDelete