Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Ornament (Beauty for Ashes)



adorn me with your breath,
i will flower and grow

underneath the overgrowth
of black trees

that bear no fruit
and needle the ground

sleeping
in winter’s graveyard



Copyright 2012 Jennifer Wagner

53 comments:

  1. Wow, such strong images of breath giving life to death. Quite beautiful :)

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  2. whew....really nice the contrast between the breathe and where they find themselves...the tree of no fruit, also like the under over in that one line...winters graveyard seems so cold...smiles.

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    1. Brrr. I'm partial to the under over in that line too...thank you so much Brian.

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  3. Very evocative, Jennifer, and beautifully structured: "breath . . . winter's graveyard" - with powerful images of what I took to be enduring, even growing, in a dark place.

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    1. Wendy, thank you so much. I love the way you took the imagery. Spot on.

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  4. oh i like...what a wonderful metaphor..sleeping in winter's graveyard..beautiful

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  5. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells...and then then 'winter's graveyard'--delicious!

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  6. you can create landscapes and the depth of feelings with few words. it's so rare. this is quite amazing..
    i imagine a rose, bright as a scarlet flame, on the snow in a somber winter forest..and someone silently waiting for the beloved..thank you for such poetic beauty, Jennifer~

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    1. yelena, i could say the same about your poetry...i am absolutely smitten with your writing. I'm so honored by your appraisal of mine~

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  7. The first line is wonderful - it caught me.

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  8. You capture so much, in very few words...wonderful imagery:-))

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  9. Oh my! Your poem engaged me from the first line and I liked your description of winter. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Thank you very much. The piece you shared this week is on my Love list! Amazing write there :)

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  10. "adorn me with your breath"

    beautiful, as is the entire poem! really love this!

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  11. I like the idea that it takes only one's BREATH to make someone / something flower and grow. I take your whole poem as a metaphor. Nice.

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    1. You've taken it as I intended Mary. Thanks for reading!

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  12. I can imagine your flowering and growing with the adornment of your lover's breath. Lovely this image!

    Beggar and Buddha

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  13. Absolutely love this poem! You are one extremely talented poet, another beautiful write.

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    1. Oh heck Lisa, you flatter me! I am so humbled, your poetry is one of my online favorites. Thank you so much lady.

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  14. See, this is why I love your poems. A lot of people would have written that first line as "I feel your breath on me" or "Your breath on me is comforting" or some boring snooze like that. But you say "Adorn me with your breath", and that's the difference between poetry and a nap. Your choice of the word "Adorn" makes the whole thing. It's close enough to suggest 'adore", and whether or not you had that in mind, one only adorns something capable of beauty, something that is valuable enough, already, to merit attention and care. You do that with one word.

    "underneath the overgrowth" flows off the tongue so pleasingly. I want to sit here like a moron and repeat it a few times, just because it sounds so nice phonetically, and with the under/over.

    You use "needle" as a verb. A lot of nouns see service as verbs these days, and i hate it about 98% of the time, but this time, it works beautifully.

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    1. I'm swooning with all the poetic praise Miss Fireblossom. Really Shay, you have made my day. Your appraisal of my work really means a lot as I consider you to have quite an amazing talent for writing. And you took my piece exactly as intended. Love it when someone gets it.

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  15. I like the thought of life flowering beneath the sleeping ground, nice write.

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    1. Thanks very much Abin. Always appreciate you reading my work.

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  17. Beautiful piece. Love the first line!

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  18. This piece is so lovely and encouraging. It takes but a little love and attention to nurture goodness from a dark place.

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  19. This is so beautifully done! Wow--you had me a the first line--

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  20. Spectacularly well done, all of it, and I especially love its closing lines.

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    1. Sherry-always appreciate your thoughts and encouragement on my work. Thank you.

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  21. Love the implied cycle of life, of birth coming from the deep of winter.

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  22. Beautiful! I thoroughly enjoy your poetry.

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  23. Great hopefulness springs out of that first verse. My sister has "beauty for ashes" tatooed on her foot (random I know!) and so I'm familiar with its scriptural background. Lovely to read this :)

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    1. That sounds like a cool tattoo. Love that you picked up on the reference. Love your work ND, and I so appreciate you leaving your thoughts here.

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Thank you for your thoughts!