you ask me to
and i don’t know how to answer
i want to
know
what it’s like to stay
now
so much
in that look
my cells
multiplying
like time-lapse
photosynthesis
curling myself
around that
one
word
as if
light
you ask me to
and i don’t know how to answer
i want to
know
what it’s like to stay
now
so much
in that look
my cells
multiplying
like time-lapse
photosynthesis
curling myself
around that
one
word
as if
light
Our old town
lies at the bottom of a lake
like Arenal and Tronadora
in Lake Arenal.
New ones have sprung up
like wildflowers
around it.
But, they’re not the same.
Sure, they have
their beautiful distractions
like scenes from a movie—
views of snakes and jaguars
stretching themselves
near waterfalls,
a peacock shimmy-shaking
on the grass,
little pastel houses
clinging to cliffs.
But this isn’t what I want.
Never was.
Even back before we had money.
You know I’d live on love.
I’d sell it all and move
to Nicoya on the cheap
to feel that way again.
When I set the table for dinner,
and select a juicy tomato for the salad,
asking you what you imagine
chupacabra looks like,
I’m not just musing at random.
What I’m really saying is—
I’ve forgotten the mystery of you,
the wild smell of you up close,
and what it did to me.
I can’t even think of it now.
And so, I scuttle about
getting stuck
in the drying cement
of our resentments,
drowning for what
the fish only know now,
dancing around
our old town.
NPM Day 28
Bring me hope
that hasn’t forgotten
that look in my eyes.
Capture
all my longing
long gone
and bring it back
as if you’ve wrestled leviathan, stinging nettles,
the inky blackness of your own heart.
Bring it back,
run your hand over it,
as if you cared.
© 2023 Jennifer Wagner