You must know
when ghosts jingle loose change in their pockets,
and it sounds like Heaven’s bells,
it’s really just an old thought in a dirty shirt
doused in Dolce & Gabbana to mask the death wretch.
And yet, it sends you
right back there
in those moments of what
you don’t want to be.
You leave things behind,
in a stranger’s hands,
It seems you get pulled back
A bad day, not enough sleep,
and you are there—
holding hands with the haunts
playing ‘Ring Around the Rosie’
or singing don’t need ‘Nothin’ But a Good Time’
and it is, but it’s catchy,
and you start to want them back—
laughing, like the tune meant anything good.
You’ve outgrown them,
like those jeans you wore
But they’re familiar
and that is comforting
when you don’t know what comes next.
you realize they really are too small
to fit your
Grown Up Responsible Life.
The one where it’s not just you anymore
and you know it.
Of course you do,
you’ve earned it,
by mud sucking
and light swigging
You can point to every scar,
every smoky kohl black eyeliner pillow smear.
You’ve fought in too many wars,
sacrificed too much to get here.
Scraped and scrapped
and dug the hell out of your pride when
you had to.
You’re that much bigger now
for all that journeying.
But Oh to try them on again,
for just a few minutes—
gazing at yourself in the mirrored
hall of yesteryear
pretending you’d still look good
Copyright © 2013 Jennifer Wagner
I'm linking up to the dVerse Poets Pub for OpenLinkNight...the doors opened yesterday but they haven't closed yet so I am sliding on in to join the party!