Sunday, January 20, 2013

Slough


i wish to
shed this skin
of pain
of discontent

like a clinging, wrinkled
dress
crumpled
rolled around in
and pulled—
s  c  r  a  p  e  d
o  f  f

w
  i
g
  g
l
  e
d

out of

twisted
at my ankles

and dropped
like my
eyelids—

to drool into
the hair
of your chest

the pads
of your fingers
in that place
in the groove
of my back

hearing
no voices
and feeling
only
the breath
of your hungry mouth
satisfied


Copyright 2013 Jennifer Wagner

I'll be linking to dVerse with the amazing poets who gather there for OpenLinkNight.  

59 comments:

Dave King said...

Warm, sensuous, full of fun and beautifully done. Just the job for a snowy, icy morning! Brilliant. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Love the wiggling bit! (made me wiggle in sympathy)

Lisa Williams said...

A very tender,sensual poem. Beautifully done!

my heart's love songs said...

LOVE this, Jennifer! the visual aspect is wonderful and the sensuality carries the transition from your opening "of pain and discontent" to the ending beautifully!

ND Mitchell said...

Agree that the visual aspect of the poem really brings it to life. Wonderful development of imagery as you progress this. Really liked "dropped like my eyelids". Great to read your work as always :)

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I LOVE how you structured this. Especially the word "Wiggled".

Donald E. Allen said...

Slough, after Mud Blossom, Two poems that spring from swampy ground, yet so different. Each so vivid in it's independence of thought. I loved them both on their own, but love them more back to back.

Brian Miller said...

whew this builds into a nice heat....not sure on the use of drool...i got hung up there on the first reading...three is a nice build to this...

anthonynorth said...

Great sensual words.

Claudia said...

oh i like...a place of safety and comfort in the arms of the loved one...love the images...the wiggled part...wonderful...

Marina Sofia said...

Ah, that kind of Slough - I misread it initially for the town of Slough... But obviously something very different. A very visual and sensuous poem.

Jennifer Wagner said...

A wonderful compliment to me especially since I consider you to be a brilliant poet. Thanks so much.

Jennifer Wagner said...

ha :-) thanks pd!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Lisa, thank you very much. Always appreciate your words...

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thank you very much Dani!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks Keith! Always love your comments :-)

Jennifer Wagner said...

...and it's always great to read yours as well!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks Donald! I appreciate you reading them both. I was coming from the definition of 'slough' as in 'to slough off, cast off, shed' but I can see it working the other way too due to the element of the noun in which it also means 'a condition of degradation, despair, or helplessness.' I do like your perspective as well. I so appreciate you leaving your thoughts.

Jennifer Wagner said...

ha...I guess I drool a bit when I'm in the place of perfect comfort and peace on hubby's chest. I did consider transitioning into that stanza with an additional stanza prior to it. Something to think about...

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks much anthony :)

Jennifer Wagner said...

There's a town called Slough? Thanks for coming by Marina :)

Jennifer Wagner said...

Love it when you 'like' :-) I most definitely 'like' your piece this OLN as well...hope your loved one is feeling better...

Tashtoo said...

Oh...very nicely done! And I only blushed a little bit ;)

Mary said...

Wonderful sensuality here, Jennifer.

ayala said...

Tender and sensual...lovely!

blueness said...

this felt so warming and deeply sensual as i read and recited. love your poetics, Jennifer~

Wolfsrosebud said...

looks like you had fun with this structure

Jennifer Wagner said...

;) Thanks Tash!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thank you Mary, always appreciate your visits.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thank you lovely ayala.

Jennifer Wagner said...

...and I love yours!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Tried something just a bit different for me :)

mrs mediocrity said...

fabulous! love the wriggled, and the way the whole poem draws you down into that lovely ending!

Tank said...

I truly do love those times with you, even if you tend to slightly drool....lol. Great work honey!

Scarlet said...

I like the placement of the words and the intimacy at the end ~ Good work here ~

Heather Sawaya said...

Love the originality with the layout, as well as the warmth and sensuality it exudes. As always, masterfully done. :)

Unknown said...

Wow, sensual is the only word that come to mind. Amazing job

Anonymous said...

from pain to bliss in so many lines - wonderfully expressed, & i loved the way shape reflected words & sentiments

Jody Lee Collins said...

Jennifer, the form of this--the words and shapes matching your thoughts. And well, the intimacy at the end. A remarkable picture.

Jennifer Wagner said...

I am so flattered you think so Kelly! Always happy to have your thoughts :-)

Jennifer Wagner said...

Love them too...and it's not that much drool ;)

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks so much Heather...had a little fun with this one!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks Gretchen, appreciate your thoughts!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Ruth, thank you so much. Your words are a wonderful compliment to me :)

Jennifer Wagner said...

Jody thank you! Good to see you :)

marousia said...

Love this - every aspect - beautiful

Poetry and Icecream said...

I really like the structure of this poem. Very sensual and great ending :)

Unknown said...

The directness of this piece is appealing. I would like to see it broken into two separate poems, just after eyelids. Each section feels like it needs its own stage!

Margaret said...

Now that's the way to shed an attitude. Just love the metaphor.

Jennifer Wagner said...

I'm honored marousia-thank you!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Glad you do! Thanks for saying so :-)

Jennifer Wagner said...

Two separate poems for each to have it's own stage...kind and constructive of you to say Kim.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Amen. ;) Margaret Bednar! Great to see you :-)

Myrna R. said...

This is so sensuous. At first I thought you were referring to an old body wanting to be shed, but obviously your concept here is much more imaginative. Really enjoyed this.

Alex Dissing said...

Loved the "wiggled" word play & all the intimate images in this.

Jennifer Wagner said...

I wouldn't mind having a new body lol...so glad you enjoyed, thanks for commenting on it.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Appreciate your visit Alex, and your comment! :-)

GoddessChhavi said...

Really! You go from shedding your skin like a snake does and how you wound it up on such a sensual note! I love this one! Because I actually feel this way too, about 'the pads of fingers in that place in the groove of my back'. ;)

Jennifer Wagner said...

Well, thank you Chhavi!