Sunday, January 20, 2013

Slough


i wish to
shed this skin
of pain
of discontent

like a clinging, wrinkled
dress
crumpled
rolled around in
and pulled—
s  c  r  a  p  e  d
o  f  f

w
  i
g
  g
l
  e
d

out of

twisted
at my ankles

and dropped
like my
eyelids—

to drool into
the hair
of your chest

the pads
of your fingers
in that place
in the groove
of my back

hearing
no voices
and feeling
only
the breath
of your hungry mouth
satisfied


Copyright 2013 Jennifer Wagner

I'll be linking to dVerse with the amazing poets who gather there for OpenLinkNight.  

59 comments:

  1. Warm, sensuous, full of fun and beautifully done. Just the job for a snowy, icy morning! Brilliant. Thanks.

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    1. A wonderful compliment to me especially since I consider you to be a brilliant poet. Thanks so much.

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  2. Love the wiggling bit! (made me wiggle in sympathy)

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  3. A very tender,sensual poem. Beautifully done!

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    1. Lisa, thank you very much. Always appreciate your words...

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  4. LOVE this, Jennifer! the visual aspect is wonderful and the sensuality carries the transition from your opening "of pain and discontent" to the ending beautifully!

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  5. Agree that the visual aspect of the poem really brings it to life. Wonderful development of imagery as you progress this. Really liked "dropped like my eyelids". Great to read your work as always :)

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  6. I LOVE how you structured this. Especially the word "Wiggled".

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  7. Slough, after Mud Blossom, Two poems that spring from swampy ground, yet so different. Each so vivid in it's independence of thought. I loved them both on their own, but love them more back to back.

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    1. Thanks Donald! I appreciate you reading them both. I was coming from the definition of 'slough' as in 'to slough off, cast off, shed' but I can see it working the other way too due to the element of the noun in which it also means 'a condition of degradation, despair, or helplessness.' I do like your perspective as well. I so appreciate you leaving your thoughts.

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  8. whew this builds into a nice heat....not sure on the use of drool...i got hung up there on the first reading...three is a nice build to this...

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    1. ha...I guess I drool a bit when I'm in the place of perfect comfort and peace on hubby's chest. I did consider transitioning into that stanza with an additional stanza prior to it. Something to think about...

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  9. oh i like...a place of safety and comfort in the arms of the loved one...love the images...the wiggled part...wonderful...

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    1. Love it when you 'like' :-) I most definitely 'like' your piece this OLN as well...hope your loved one is feeling better...

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  10. Ah, that kind of Slough - I misread it initially for the town of Slough... But obviously something very different. A very visual and sensuous poem.

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    1. There's a town called Slough? Thanks for coming by Marina :)

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  11. Oh...very nicely done! And I only blushed a little bit ;)

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  12. Wonderful sensuality here, Jennifer.

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  13. this felt so warming and deeply sensual as i read and recited. love your poetics, Jennifer~

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  14. looks like you had fun with this structure

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  15. fabulous! love the wriggled, and the way the whole poem draws you down into that lovely ending!

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    1. I am so flattered you think so Kelly! Always happy to have your thoughts :-)

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  16. I truly do love those times with you, even if you tend to slightly drool....lol. Great work honey!

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  17. I like the placement of the words and the intimacy at the end ~ Good work here ~

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  18. Love the originality with the layout, as well as the warmth and sensuality it exudes. As always, masterfully done. :)

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    1. Thanks so much Heather...had a little fun with this one!

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  19. Wow, sensual is the only word that come to mind. Amazing job

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  20. from pain to bliss in so many lines - wonderfully expressed, & i loved the way shape reflected words & sentiments

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    1. Ruth, thank you so much. Your words are a wonderful compliment to me :)

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  21. Jennifer, the form of this--the words and shapes matching your thoughts. And well, the intimacy at the end. A remarkable picture.

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  22. Love this - every aspect - beautiful

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  23. I really like the structure of this poem. Very sensual and great ending :)

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  24. The directness of this piece is appealing. I would like to see it broken into two separate poems, just after eyelids. Each section feels like it needs its own stage!

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    1. Two separate poems for each to have it's own stage...kind and constructive of you to say Kim.

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  25. Now that's the way to shed an attitude. Just love the metaphor.

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  26. This is so sensuous. At first I thought you were referring to an old body wanting to be shed, but obviously your concept here is much more imaginative. Really enjoyed this.

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    1. I wouldn't mind having a new body lol...so glad you enjoyed, thanks for commenting on it.

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  27. Loved the "wiggled" word play & all the intimate images in this.

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  28. Really! You go from shedding your skin like a snake does and how you wound it up on such a sensual note! I love this one! Because I actually feel this way too, about 'the pads of fingers in that place in the groove of my back'. ;)

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Thank you for your thoughts!