cobwebs thick upon your hands
dirt underneath your nails
embedded deep
buried
alive
you feel the crust
of tears and dirt
stuck to your lashes
your
nostrils
choking
you make shallow breaths
repeat your name
you are
not dead yet
remind yourself
to come back
to the living
keep scratching and clawing
out
of
the
dark
someone will need
your survival story one day
Copyright 2012 Jennifer Wagner
Very interesting, great poem, strong emotional impact.
ReplyDeleteThanks Leovi, very much. And thanks for following too.
DeleteI working on my breathing as I typing this. "gloom" seems a bit more positive than your description depicts, but that could just be my current mind set.
ReplyDeletethoroughly enjoyed!
lol I hear you RMP. "Gloom" seemed apropo to me, I have known it this oppressively dark and thick at times. Glad you enjoyed!
DeleteJennifer,
ReplyDeleteOne must always try to remain hopeful, even in the most difficult and darkest times....Even when we are seemingly surrounded by the worst of times...
Eileen.
Perspective can definitely mean so much during dark times. Remembering that one day your triumph may just be what someone needs to hear to be inspired when they are in their dark days can give yourself encouragement. Thanks for your thoughts Eileen.
Deleteoooh, this was creepy good! So true, when we get down we must remember to keep scratching~ I love how you did this! I know being an artist I get dark sometimes~
ReplyDeleteLoved your take on the prompt :D
Thanks very much Ella! I think you're right...many artist types have that deep dark melancholy place we draw from sometimes when we create. Thanks for the great prompt! I really enjoyed your piece too :-)
DeleteI tend to try and think of that tired old (but most often very apt) quote, whatever it is, this too shall pass and, tomorrow is another day. These have both helped me through some pretty rough times in the past and, still do.
ReplyDeleteThis is dark, and yet, sometimes we need these times to remind us of how good life can be, without them.
Great poem.
Those are good reminders when we are going through something for sure--and they can help keep the depression from going to that insurmountable place. Thanks so much Bren.
DeleteWhew, this is dark and rich and good. Love the idea that somoene will need the survival story sometime....what a reason to keep clawing! (smile)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Mary! Really glad you love that idea, it has kept me going a time or two. :-D
DeleteI like this! And there have been times I've had to fight to fight my back from some of the suffocating stuff of life. As dark as this is, I love the dangling bit of hope you leave for us at the end :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's that little bit of hope that keeps us going! Fight on lori--thank you!
DeleteVery nice, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much.
DeleteBoth the story and the pattern of living, that is what we leave. As a poet, this offering is another level of your legacy! O the images you weave. The narrator may be you or another, a man a mouse, a fly, a world, and all of the above. I truly love this poem!
ReplyDeleteSusan, I'm honored! Love how you saw the piece. Your words encourage me.
DeleteWow. This really has impact and I, too, especially love that "someone will need that survival story one day". We claw our way forward........loved this.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely feels like a crawl and a claw sometimes...thanks so much Sherry.
DeleteIntricately weaved with fast heartbeats, survival, inspiration and not so gentle life-reminders ... great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks becca- for coming by to comment, I appreciate your words!
Deletedang, that is intense....wow...excellent write...and love the end...because it is our stories where we come together and give each other hope...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian, I am so honored by your words. I agree, it is through our stories, at times our survival stories of our worst times, which can offer hope and encouragement to another.
Deletethis was quite remarkable.the palpitating breathless sense of drowning in one's gloom was so vividly realised.kudos!
ReplyDeleteAbin- thanks so much--really appreciate your words!
DeleteWell written. Guess we can all relate to this feeling. Hope we always survive it.
ReplyDeleteIndeed--thanks Myrna...so appreciate your visit.
DeleteSounds like someone buried alive, really gripping!
ReplyDeleteThanks rch!
DeleteI love this metaphorical take ...but it reminded me of a true and sad story of someone who was buried alive in the dirt hole...Happy Sunday ~
ReplyDeleteGlad the metaphor came across as effectively used...thank you Heaven.
DeleteTurn on the lights and get my oxygen think I just had an anxiety attack, very very good
ReplyDeleteha! deep breaths...thanks Tatius!
DeleteIt looks as if others have expressed what I'm thinking about this, so just let me say how much I really like it!
ReplyDeleteThanks much Karen!
DeleteA unique poem, and I reckon everyone needs a survival story to rely on when things go pear-shaped.
ReplyDeleteSurvival stories from others who have gone through circumstances similar to mine have definitely helped me not to give up, so I would say, yes.
DeleteEek! One of my nightmares.
ReplyDeleteAck! Hope you don't have it often.
DeleteWhat a remarkable depiction of how our own survival can help others overcome their own trials. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteThanks you so much Lisa!
Deletepowerful writing!
ReplyDeleteI love this poem, Poet Laudry and I agree that, one must never give up. Erect with pride yet be resilient with humility :)
ReplyDeleteSo well written..
I'm very honored Panchali! Thanks for your comment--always appreciate your words so much.
Delete