Thursday, October 25, 2012

Gloom



cobwebs thick upon your hands
dirt underneath your nails
embedded deep

buried
            alive

you feel the crust
of tears and dirt
stuck to your lashes
            your nostrils

choking
you make shallow breaths
repeat your name

you are

not                   dead                 yet

remind yourself
to come back
to the living

keep scratching and clawing

out
of
the
dark

someone will need

your survival story one day



Copyright 2012 Jennifer Wagner

45 comments:

Leovi said...

Very interesting, great poem, strong emotional impact.

RMP said...

I working on my breathing as I typing this. "gloom" seems a bit more positive than your description depicts, but that could just be my current mind set.

thoroughly enjoyed!

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Jennifer,

One must always try to remain hopeful, even in the most difficult and darkest times....Even when we are seemingly surrounded by the worst of times...

Eileen.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks Leovi, very much. And thanks for following too.

Jennifer Wagner said...

lol I hear you RMP. "Gloom" seemed apropo to me, I have known it this oppressively dark and thick at times. Glad you enjoyed!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Perspective can definitely mean so much during dark times. Remembering that one day your triumph may just be what someone needs to hear to be inspired when they are in their dark days can give yourself encouragement. Thanks for your thoughts Eileen.

Ella said...

oooh, this was creepy good! So true, when we get down we must remember to keep scratching~ I love how you did this! I know being an artist I get dark sometimes~
Loved your take on the prompt :D

Daydreamertoo said...

I tend to try and think of that tired old (but most often very apt) quote, whatever it is, this too shall pass and, tomorrow is another day. These have both helped me through some pretty rough times in the past and, still do.
This is dark, and yet, sometimes we need these times to remind us of how good life can be, without them.
Great poem.

Mary said...

Whew, this is dark and rich and good. Love the idea that somoene will need the survival story sometime....what a reason to keep clawing! (smile)

Unknown said...

I like this! And there have been times I've had to fight to fight my back from some of the suffocating stuff of life. As dark as this is, I love the dangling bit of hope you leave for us at the end :)

sewa mobil jakarta said...

Very nice, thanks for sharing.

Susan said...

Both the story and the pattern of living, that is what we leave. As a poet, this offering is another level of your legacy! O the images you weave. The narrator may be you or another, a man a mouse, a fly, a world, and all of the above. I truly love this poem!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks very much Ella! I think you're right...many artist types have that deep dark melancholy place we draw from sometimes when we create. Thanks for the great prompt! I really enjoyed your piece too :-)

Jennifer Wagner said...

Those are good reminders when we are going through something for sure--and they can help keep the depression from going to that insurmountable place. Thanks so much Bren.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks so much Mary! Really glad you love that idea, it has kept me going a time or two. :-D

Jennifer Wagner said...

Sometimes it's that little bit of hope that keeps us going! Fight on lori--thank you!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thank you very much.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Susan, I'm honored! Love how you saw the piece. Your words encourage me.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wow. This really has impact and I, too, especially love that "someone will need that survival story one day". We claw our way forward........loved this.

Anonymous said...

Intricately weaved with fast heartbeats, survival, inspiration and not so gentle life-reminders ... great job!

Brian Miller said...

dang, that is intense....wow...excellent write...and love the end...because it is our stories where we come together and give each other hope...

Abin Chakraborty said...

this was quite remarkable.the palpitating breathless sense of drowning in one's gloom was so vividly realised.kudos!

Myrna R. said...

Well written. Guess we can all relate to this feeling. Hope we always survive it.

rch said...

Sounds like someone buried alive, really gripping!

Scarlet said...

I love this metaphorical take ...but it reminded me of a true and sad story of someone who was buried alive in the dirt hole...Happy Sunday ~

ScottlB said...

Turn on the lights and get my oxygen think I just had an anxiety attack, very very good

Karen said...

It looks as if others have expressed what I'm thinking about this, so just let me say how much I really like it!

Anonymous said...

A unique poem, and I reckon everyone needs a survival story to rely on when things go pear-shaped.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Eek! One of my nightmares.

Lisa Williams said...

What a remarkable depiction of how our own survival can help others overcome their own trials. Lovely!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Definitely feels like a crawl and a claw sometimes...thanks so much Sherry.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks becca- for coming by to comment, I appreciate your words!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks Brian, I am so honored by your words. I agree, it is through our stories, at times our survival stories of our worst times, which can offer hope and encouragement to another.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Abin- thanks so much--really appreciate your words!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Indeed--thanks Myrna...so appreciate your visit.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks rch!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Glad the metaphor came across as effectively used...thank you Heaven.

Jennifer Wagner said...

ha! deep breaths...thanks Tatius!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks much Karen!

Jennifer Wagner said...

Survival stories from others who have gone through circumstances similar to mine have definitely helped me not to give up, so I would say, yes.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Ack! Hope you don't have it often.

Jennifer Wagner said...

Thanks you so much Lisa!

Laura said...

powerful writing!

Panchali said...

I love this poem, Poet Laudry and I agree that, one must never give up. Erect with pride yet be resilient with humility :)
So well written..

Jennifer Wagner said...

I'm very honored Panchali! Thanks for your comment--always appreciate your words so much.