Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Noonday Jackals


Her thoughts took a dark turn
like jackals in the threadbare sun
ripping, ripping until she couldn’t see
herself, now a carcass of once-sought dreams;
a bone-hollow skeleton
stripped of all marrow by which future is made,
where the ink dried within.

Blood, first red then black, gathered in pools
around her head
until the ears spilled no more.
She’d done it to drown out the howling—
for who can bear the noise
of a broken heart?

The muting of syndicate
mocking and whimpering replete,
she worked the metallic taste of hate off her tongue.
It lingered though and became bitter
so she used her teeth to bite into its flesh
for nothing other than to taste a mellowing of salt.

A waft of perfume lingered in the cloying rot,
the remnant of her identity laying in the dust
while the air spilled with the scent of her decay;
a lone paper, yellowed and curled at the corners,
rattled in a wisp of wind.

A cloud began to form on the horizon,
a growing mist of dry, kicked-up earth,
swirling and choking the throat of tortuous barbs.
The cyclonic reclamation filled the desert of scars and loneliness,
returned sinew and marrow, blood and ink
to the supine form of the battered giant
of a dream so big the rabid enemy of her soul
was lost for strategy to bring down.
  

Copyright 2012 Jennifer Wagner

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

32 comments:

  1. A very moving and well written piece of work. You never cease to amaze me with your creativity and ability to bring words to life!

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  2. This IS intense. WOW! LOVE how you draw it together in those last 3 powerful lines. YES!

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    1. I appreciate your comment Janet! Thank you much :)

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  3. there is a lot of grit in your words as you dance within the shadows on this one....i like in the end that the enemy has no hold....

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    1. Thanks Brian, always appreciate your visits and words!

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  4. Stark imagery burrows through your imagination to give a gripping metaphor of loss, loneliness and a broken heart. Very effective.

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    1. Beachanny, thank you...very nice of you to comment. Thanks for visiting my blog!

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  5. Loved the imagery in this one!
    Very well written!

    Cheers!
    Priyanka
    www.priyankazneverland.blogspot.in

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  6. Oh how this reminds me of the valley of the bones and whilst in their defeat they may lay in wait, until that day when they will again rattle and rise.

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    1. K- Ezekiel 37:1-14 I believe? I'm honored it made that connection for you. Thank you for your comment--I appreciate it :-)

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  7. This is full of inner battles with good and evil and giving in to the easiest for the peace and yet, doesn't quite let go of sanity to let the light of hope shine through. It's powerful in imagery, full of blood and guts and yet, that ray of hope and faith at the end is her saving grace.
    A gripping read.

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    1. Thank you Daydreamertoo--I appreciate those compliments, very kind of you...glad to have you visit!

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  8. oh i just love the turnaround in the last stanza...the light in the thick darkness...much grit but allthemore hope in this

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    1. Thank you Claudia...gritty and hopeful was where I was coming from and going for in the write. Appreciate your words, as always!

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  9. I echo the previous comments. Well done.

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    1. Thanks Lo-Fi! ...and I'm glad to see a new post on your blog.

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  10. Wow, this is really lovely. I was thinking a love poem, someone decimated by a passionate affair. Then, the ending just blew away. Amazing images, powerful vision of what love for a power beyond oneself can do to decimate the heart when the relationship is broken or threatened. I must say that I like the quote at the end, as it provides the shock of recognition. However, I do not believe that having it in front would detract from this.

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    1. chaz- You picked up on something I wrestled with--whether to put it at the top or the end. I actually changed it a couple of times before posting. Thanks so much for commenting--I value your complimentary words.

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  11. Ponderous poem, Jennifer...so much darkness, then the flood of redemptive light. I also like the quote from Jeremiah at the end because it highlights the build-up of despair folding under hope.

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    1. I like that you used the word "flood" to describe the ending...I was going for that effect with my bit of a run-on final sentence. Hope the conclusion counteracted that initial heaviness for you as a reader. Thank you so much for commenting Victoria!

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  12. I tried twice before over these two days to read this; each time I was interrupted, but the opening stanza lingered drawing me back again. I'm quite glad it did.

    each stanza provided such effective imagery. I could see the blood pool, hear the whispers, taste the salt, and smell the perfume. I could even feel the ink and marrow return; you hit all the senses wonderfully.

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    1. I'm really glad you came back to it RMP--it means a lot to me that you did. And I love your feedback, thanks so much for giving it.

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  13. Your writing is superb...the beginning stanzas were images of darkness, broken heart and rotting bones ~ then the ending of healing and gathering of hope ~

    Lovely share Jennifer ~

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    1. Thanks, Grace- a wonderful compliment to me on this write. I quite appreciate it!

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  14. Incredible imagery!! I loved the "drown out the howling for who can bear the noise (not sound--great word choice) of a broken heart"

    Beautiful! And thank you so much for stopping by and commenting at my blog:-)

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    1. Sara- you're welcome! It's fun to be able to read the stuff of other poets for sure! I'm glad you enjoyed the imagery in this one--thanks for commenting on it!

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  15. It begins bitter, scarred, but the end sees hope. The dream rising and darkness with no claws, no hope of a plan to destroy it. I like this a lot. I can relate. My dreams have been under attack, but I won't give up.

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  16. I'm so glad you found this relatable, Susie. I hope for the success of your dreams. Thanks for visiting and for commenting. I wish you well!

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  17. raw primal beginning and still some hope.

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Thank you for your thoughts!