Ding! Ding! Ding!
Congratulations!
You’ve won a
Colonoscopy!
Mammogram: check. Results are normal
but let’s have another check.
Blood draw: check.
Menopause: check, check, check.
Hot flashes! That’ll treat the cold of
all these needles and machines
and thinning skin.
An MRI, too! What fun!
All those joyous sounds!
Cervical spondylosis
is as sublime as it sounds,
so let’s strap this cage to your face
to keep the party going while we’re at it!
You didn’t hear that? Oh, it’s just as well.
Forgot your readers? That’s OK, too.
Can’t remember?
You won’t want to, anyway—
but enjoy!
We’re just getting started with you!
© 2025 Jennifer Wagner
What Cold Is at What’s Going On
Medical instruments and technology are cold indeed, but nothing that hot flashes can cure. Sounds like a pile of too much at once, well captured in this poem.
ReplyDeleteOy, I know the cold metal tables of all those procedures too......and the chill one feels, hoping for good news at the end. Hope all goes well. And no worries, your readers are right here whenever you share your work.
ReplyDeleteHahahah!!! Love it, great comedic take on what lies ahead. Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteA stark reminder of how the body can let us down - I hope you will have better health soon - Jae
ReplyDeleteBasically my everyday expectation of the medical profession! Which is why I don't go unless there's a bone sticking out or a knife in my back!
ReplyDeleteso "glad" you've joined the winner's circle, Jen. it's where all the cool kids hang out, with assorted cords and million dollar devices connected. er, strike 'kids'. strike 'cool'. maybe fool geezers? ~
ReplyDeleteHa, M, your comment made me grin :-D
DeleteAbsolutely...medical instruments, hospitals...the fear of results...all very very cold... and hot flashes ...sigh... hope all goes well with your recovery.
ReplyDeleteOh, Jennifer, your poem gave me chills! Good to get things checked out, but scary waiting for the results. UGH.
ReplyDeleteI have experienced way too much of the medical chill not only being on the different tables, but years of my daughter, and now my husband.
ReplyDeleteThey do give us chill, indeed. These instruments. Ugh. I've recently met some of them. Love your witty lines, Jennifer.
ReplyDelete