On the menu:
chocolate cakes.
Two, to be exact.
One with espresso in the batter, one
without.
One apple cake, one apple crisp.
One chocolate chip banana bread.
I am making these,
which I do not eat.
Pretzel peanut butter cookies are next,
or your mom’s pistachio bundt,
or pumpkin spice cupcakes,
some with sprinkles, some
without.
I will probably not eat much of them either.
Strangely, I am baking as if they are
for repast post funeral, attempts
at forgetting your superpowers,
the ones that always weakened,
arrested me.
Still wanting you to hold me,
settling for within,
but
without.
So poignant, Jennifer. I can feel the absence of that holding, which is my natural state, so I resonate with your poem.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I am getting two different feelings from this. One is the notion of doing for others out of love and kindness while not remembering to be loving and kind to oneself enough. But the ending simply makes me feel the ache of loss, which makes a person lose her appetite for sweets, for life, for getting out of bed. I've lived in both places but am grateful to have landed on a different shore since then.
ReplyDeleteThis feels very sad to me, Jennifer. Sweets not to be eaten. The missing is palpable.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sense of loss in this.
ReplyDeleteThis is poignant and deeply sad Jennifer but beautifully written and such a unique use of the words too.
ReplyDeleteI feel the loss. Your last lines really gave me a punch. Beautiful writing
ReplyDeleteI'm listening to the Maggie Rogers cover Bonnie Raitt's 'I Can't Make You Love Me', and it resonates with your pen - such longing ~
ReplyDeleteMoving poetry, these words that sweetly and simply communicate a bountiful love that's all-consuming despite its palpable absence.
ReplyDelete