The watchful eye of the bleeding heart moon
turned amethyst,
her vellum glowed in its gaze—
a canvas for creatures of prey.
Black sand morphed white on her toes,
confectioners’ sugar
to said creatures
making them voraciously bay.
Storm clouds rained dirt
for moments turned years
while she learned to make bloodcastles
with hellbowls of tears.
Sorry for what they’d done,
treacherous birds of root
flew from her tormented refrain
to nest and to watch from beaches of soot.
A pièce de résistance complete
in its unfinishing,
thus, she set off to hunt prey of her own.
She tortured a few, but could kill only time,
true more to herself than a rule.
She’d only been waiting on setting cement,
and Prince Charming’s repent
for having left her alone in the light of such an encouraging
moon.
Copyright © 2013 Jennifer Wagner
Linking up to Imaginary Garden with Real Toads for Open Link Monday and OpenLinkNight at dVerse Poets Pub.
56 comments:
This was a fun and interesting poem. Dashed be the Prince Charming that left her alone in the light of such an encouraging moon. Love the encouraging moon.
Every line of this is a revelation. "hellbowls of tears"? Beaches of soot? Get out. And then that arch ending. I love it.
All sorts of things I envisioned... read it three times and I'm not sure I understand it, but it is haunting, that's for sure.
I think she's waited long enough for the lout.
Somehow in my reading I could imagine this happening in early England.
..
Black sand morphed white on her toes,
confectioners’ sugar
to said creatures
making them voraciously bay....really like that bit as it sets the tone of this for me...really moving closure as well...him leaving her alone under the moon....which is pretty amazing tonight i might add...
Wow. This rewards multiple readings. Such an atmospheric piece with amazing imagery of darkness. I really loved this.
So much going on here - and great atmosphere.
you win my heart every time i visit you...
while she learned to make bloodcastles
with hellbowls of tears...oh wow..love the intensity of this..
Storm clouds rained dirt
for moments turned years
while she learned to make bloodcastles
with hellbowls of tears....great lines here, intense and captivating. Love this.
I too loved the idea of moments turned years and your use of compound words to such great effect.loved it.
Confectioner's sugar sand... sooty beaches... you compare and contrast and carry us steadily to that last surprising stanza.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/02/26/intensity-toward-blue/
the travels of a fairy tale made into poetry. beautifully written and thank you
Nothing worse than to be left alone when the moon is working its magick...fantastic tale
Storm clouds rained dirt
for moments turned years
I love these lines - sums up days and feelings
That "hellbowls of tears" grabbed me too...powerful, a dark fairy tale for sure...
Enjoyed this from start to finish, how you drew me in with the 'bleeding heart moon' to set the tone, then your rich interesting use of language.... 'til the final line and the hope it offers with the 'encouraging moon."
Whoa - this grabbed me and would not let go - so many vivid images and juxtapositions - all of them fascinating and enigmatic ... love "bloodcastles" and that she "tortured a few" and "treacherous birds of root" to name a few ... excellent work.
http://aleapingelephant.blogspot.ca/2013/02/the-trees-stand-watch_26.html
So many great lines.... hellbowls of tears, I just adore that. Great sense of mystery, loss, longing, very magical.
oh my. the title itself deserves applauds, Jennifer. a very tight and effective nocturnal imagery captured my heart as i enjoyed to read and re-read it. 'she learned to make bloodcastles
with hellbowls of tears' and 'encouraging moon' are fantastic..and many more lines actually. i just love what you've done with language here, pure magic.
A tragic princess, I think, "waiting on setting cement" she did not wish to wait on.
Very dark atmosphere but i do love this...
"while she learned to make bloodcastles
with hellbowls of tears." Lines that stay in the memory.
"She tortured a few, but could kill only time"
POWERFUL
What an enchanting piece! Such a wonderful play with words and I love the sense of a dark fairytale theme. Superb!
Great, visual piece...
Glad you enjoyed it Judy, thank you.
Thanks so much Shay!
Thanks for reading Margaret!
ha...amen! hmm...early England, I like that.
Always nice to enjoy an amazing moonlit night...thank you Brian!
Thanks so much for your compliments David, they mean a lot!
Thank you sir anthony!
Such a lovely compliment...thank you so much!
Glad you do Claudia!
Thank you very much ayala!
Abin, your compliments mean a lot to me, thank you.
Thanks for reading and commenting on it Kim.
Thank you very much for that Tracy.
Thanks much Natasha!
Thanks for saying so Mametz.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Bodhirose.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it WabiSabi, it means a lot that you did!
I so appreciate your compliments S.E. Your words are encouraging!
I appreciate that Kelly, thank you!
Wow Yelena...your opinion really means a lot to me, so thank you for such lovely words!
And I think you are right!
'Dark' was definitely intended...thanks Di.
I'm glad you found it so Keith!
Lisa, your thoughts on it mean so much, thank you!
Thank you Stan.
watch and wait...is all the moon can do! with a little given to vampire instincts, i may say, to add to the dark shadows, created so well here adding to the milieu!
Too powerfull and dark imagery....dark enough to haunt the reader for hours...read it thrice to grasp as much as i can...:)
sounds like mayhem =)
Thanks for commenting Akila.
Thanks for reading Sadia.
Metaphorically speaking of course :)
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