Flies tried to stay cool, too
in the sweltering fisheye
view
of Mariscos Mazatlan.
A little girl, a bloodshot
hibiscus in her hair,
young men, brown
shouldered in thin white tanks, and
the humming Spanish
vernacular
making me tone deaf
with ringing, pounding
against my—
I don’t know what I felt
more
the heat between my
thighs
or your stare,
affecting nonchalance,
sipping ice water
sprinkled with a lime
meant for two.
Copyright © 2013 Jennifer
Wagner
whew... i think i need to sip some ice water to cool down a bit...nice bit of heat in this.. hmmm...great intensity to this
ReplyDeletelime?
DeleteWell...tell me my inner prude hasn't rolled over again...the heat kind of sneaks up on you...smart and steamy!
ReplyDeleteha...'inner prude' LOL
DeleteGreat passion in this. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteoh my....Jennifer, this is so intense indeed, muchly enjoyed.....
ReplyDeletehmm..i have a sudden urge for ice water sprinkled with a lime :-)
Thanks Yelena :-)
DeleteHot..hot..hot. Nice ;)
ReplyDeleteI was gonna say the same thing: H.O.T.
ReplyDeleteThere was no air conditioning too...
DeleteMust have been some night... this is great!
ReplyDelete'Twas...thanks Laurie!
DeleteWonderful sensory description Jennifer. I agree with the thoughts expressed above! This was powerfully written.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much David!
Deleteoh dang...that last stanza got really hot....oo la la....you did really well building the scene and then bringing us into your feeling...ha...ice water any one...smiles.
ReplyDeleteHa :-) Thanks Brian!
DeleteMust have been a special and memorable night ~ The subtle heat in the last stanza was a nice touch ~
ReplyDeleteThank you Grace...
DeleteBeautiful... Second stanza especially - breathtaking! Great poetry Jennifer - makes me hungry tor ead more of your work - Regards Scott www.scotthastie.com
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate that Scott, thank you!
DeleteYeah Wow! wonderfully written.
ReplyDeleteThanks Di!
DeleteThere is something about those HOT nights in Mexico... nice!
ReplyDelete...smiles...thanks Mary!
Deletewow...i need to go get some sweet tea and cool down.
ReplyDeletemmm...sweet tea...
DeleteVery sensual in the interplay (skillfully done) of many senses - building the scene, as the heat rises.
ReplyDeleteThank you Wendy :)
Deletewow! quite intense...........
ReplyDeleteHolidays in the sun are often spent in darkness...
ReplyDeleteNot if you keep the lights on.
DeleteI love the way you build the scene and then suddenly focus on your response to becoming the focus of another person's attention.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading Tony, I appreciate your words!
Deleteyes, that was sexy and seen in the hot sun...great.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tracy, nice to meet you :)
DeleteOh well, you know what they say... what happens in Cabo stays in Cabo! They do say that, don't they? ;-)
ReplyDeleteI don't have many must-read blogs, but this is one of them.
Wow, Shay. I'm super honored, you knock it out of the park with your writing so this is such a compliment to me.
DeleteThis transported me...
ReplyDeleteSomeplace good I hope...
DeleteJennifer, what a scene, so colorful and Hot! Bloodshot hibiscus caught me --they do look like that the way the color runs in the veins--excellent!:-)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Mrs. Cracker Jack poet! :-)
DeletePassionate and intense..Whoa!!
ReplyDelete...nelly! Thanks for commenting odyzz, I appreciate it.
DeleteThe sensory details describe this beautifully, Jennifer. It unwinds flawlessly, you can feel the heaviness in it. Great write. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Heather. I always appreciate your comments on my writing...so thoughtful...you are going to rock the world of psychotherapy!
DeleteSensual and sensuous, this buzzes with a sense of time and place.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much DJ. I really appreciate your visit.
Delete"bloodshot hibiscus in her hair," beautiful line!
ReplyDeleteGlad you think so Laura :)
DeleteSuch beautiful work. Never fails...you truly touch each reader.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Keith :)
Delete