Brush my mind
with ticklings of innocence;
I’ve since passed them
sinking in the quicksand
of want;
disclosing destroyed
and heaving parts,
the remnants of ugliness
from connubial war.
Disgusted,
our most real selves
are painfully owning all of it, even
the gaps so richly fabled when it suited.
Cleverly cloaked
in our reckless game of moth-eaten promise;
the bearers of bad news
always held their tongue.
They all knew their fate,
when veracity
was so uncomely.
Solemn workers of the gallows have finally come
to set the masqueraders free.
It’s a ghastly job to examine the photo
pulled from the frame
when the lies were just so pretty.
Copyright © 2013 Jennifer Wagner
Apparently I am indefinite article deficient. I'm sorry if you read this post before I made the fix on the third to last line. I'm going to blame it on the flu. I'll be linking up at dVerse Poets Pub for OpenLinkNight tomorrow!
Apparently I am indefinite article deficient. I'm sorry if you read this post before I made the fix on the third to last line. I'm going to blame it on the flu. I'll be linking up at dVerse Poets Pub for OpenLinkNight tomorrow!
56 comments:
Wow. So much to ponder here. This feels like a painful experience for the speaker of the poem. Your words cause me to think deeply about this-it's a very thought-provoking piece of writing.
This is a truly remarkable poem, Jennifer, brought tears to my eyes, especially "when the lies were just so pretty."
Yes, I have seen a lot of this in life. Promises and lies are often a pretty fairy tale masquerade - the facade that we are expected (or expect ourselves) to keep up. But living a lie, is failing oneself - and there is real heartache in staying on that path. An excellent capture.
The ending of one fairy tale is the beginning of another...
I loved this Jennifer--fabulous--everything about it
heavy emotions in this..a ghastly job for sure..ugh...the reckless game of moth-eaten promise...inense images...
wow this is like layer upon layer...the releasing in the end...moth eaten promises....and it seems at times in our darkest hours that is when new life comes....smiles...
Heavy emptions, intense and good write.
our most real selves
are painfully owning all of it,
powerfully spoken. I appreciate your voice.
So deep and excellently penned.
Amazing & with felt emotions.
A moth-eaten promise is perfect and I love the idea of looking at a picture pulled away from the frame.
I can sense the speaker's disappointment, pain and anger coming through in this well-penned poem. The closure is brilliant.
sometimes those promises do seem moth eaten... lovely interpretation of emotions
Lies are a sad ending to the beginnings of innocence. ~
Oh yikes, the lies...in a pretty frame! Excellent presentation here, Jennifer! A real life fairy tale, I fear.
I'm perceiving some regret, sadness, loss, bitterness, and even a vague sense of detachment in this piece. There are too many quotable passages in this, so I will just say that, in its entirety, you led us down an extemely intense and visceral path in this poem. Such power in your voice, the words you choose, and how you arrange them. It's almost like the room goes quiet when you speak. I am, once again, blown away at your gifts, Jennifer. Excellent. :)
Very deep!
This is very rich and interesting work, Jennifer - so I'm glad I visted your page and will be back again... Particularly enjoyed: "the photo pulled from the frame
when the lies were just so pretty." Excellent finish!
Reagrds
Scott www.scotthastie.com
Oof, that is such a powerful ending.... Reality comes creeping in sometimes, when it is least welcome, doesn't it? Great job with this!
When I finished reading this all I could say was "woah." Those last few lines are stunning.
I totally love this. Some people prefer the lies in the frame don't they? Gorgeous work.
Nicely done!
Very powerful ending and wow the lies very nicely done
It’s a ghastly job to examine the photo
pulled from the frame
when the lies were just so pretty.
Great ending to a strong poem.
Flattery for the purpose of deception... do people do that...? ;)
it can be hard to let go of the fairytale—to see it as it truly was—no longer blonde by the lies..
the ending definitely struck a chord. beautifully done!
Those last five lines are just scary good.
Beautiful powerful and evocative. Not to mention familiar and visceral (a word someone else used) and is a most excellent description of this most excellent offering...thank you!!
Thanks for reading David. Appreciate it, as always!
So true Wendy...thank you!
Yes, it can be...
Thanks for saying so Audrey!
'ugh' is right...thanks for reading Claudia!
At times that is so true...smiles back...
Thank you very much jane!
Thank you for the compliment anthony, I appreciate it!
I appreciate that colleen, thank you.
Kind words Tony, thank you. And thank you for hosting the pub as well!
Sometimes it's as if they are...thank you!
Lies are destructive things indeed. Thanks Grace.
Thank you very much Mary!
Oh you humble me Heather...really I am quite touched by your words. You've made my day.
Thanks for visiting Alieux, and for following too.
I'm glad to hear you will be back Scott...a very nice compliment!
ooh reality is 'ouch' sometimes...thank you Kelly!
Thank you very much Alex.
Oh yes they do...thank you very much for your kind words.
Thank you Ann.
Thanks very much Heidi.
Never ;)
Thank you Shay.
Thanks for reading--and for your kind comment!
That last line is a zinger! although, I did enjoy myself the whole way through.
Glad you did Margaret, thanks!
Having lived some of this (every married couple has) you've captured the connubial war, artfully and sympathetically.
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