dusk
is a notion
of half-closed lids
in yellow flicks
of candlelight
against your bluegreen
eyes
where
despite or because of
that lonely space
between us
you pull me into
it
reaching for that
tender
part you save for me
until i believe
i am the jewel
upon your hand
you always say i am
and melt like gold
in your palms
64 comments:
despite or because of
that lonely space between us
you pull me into
For me lines like this raise it to something a bit special.
This left me breathless. So ,so good!
smiles...so warm and intimate....dusk is a time of magic...between the light and dark...and you add in a bit of the magic of love...wonderful write...happy friday
oh wow..this is just so beautifully intimate and so tender...i'm melting...smiles
Such a beautiful expression of a wonderful relationship. Love it!
Lovely!
i love the dusk and what a joy to read such a warming candlelit poem connected with it. thank you for sharing - and for your support. i've rarely visited blogs recently but going to read more now. i enjoy your poetry, truly~
Your words are beautiful - love is a wonderful thing.
Anna :o]
Thank you very much Dave.
Barbara, thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks Brian, such a great compliment.
smiles...thank you so much, such a lovely comment...
Thank you very much Victoria--glad you do.
Thank you so much...I enjoy your poetry as well...really consider you a fantastic talent. Keep it coming! Always look forward to your writes.
Anna- thank you!! And I agree...
I agree with Dave...the detail of that section is fantastic, shows the depth and non-clarity and possibility surrounding...well, maybe everything. Others said "intimate," and I agree with that, too.
a beautiful poem - especially how you have centered the piece around that single word line. Really works well. Thank you.
exquisitely beautiful.kind of poem that makes you fall in love with someone.
Beautiful words...
the ethereal love, something special expressed so wonderfully...
Enjoyed...
I just love those 3 opening lines..Whoosh! Beautiful poetry.
Oh, this is just beautiful. "Until I believe I am a jewel in your hand" --- these words make my heart leap! Smiles.
oh.. this brought in my mind a thought of the tree reaching for the sun, maybe in autumn coz of the melting gold. that of course, I mean other than the point of love, which is also brought out quite beautifully. Agree with Barbara, it leaves one breathless. :)
I love the title, and the idea, of firegold. I, too, really liked the lines that speak of the person being pulled into the space between them. Lovely.
Nice - I really love the style - nice and fresh.
Your 'lonely place between us' reminded me of Rilke's passage about relationship that ends with a reference to an 'immense sky' Really well drawn, Jennifer.
nice images here, nice title.
So, so beautiful... the love and be loved like this is truly a gift.
What a lovely poem Jennifer.
Thanks so much Jack. I really appreciate your thoughts, thanks for taking the time to leave them.
Thanks wolf, that single word is how I felt it should be and wasn't sure it would come across how I felt it. Glad you thought it worked!
What a lovely compliment Abin, thank you so much.
Rashmi, thanks for visiting and commenting on the piece--glad you enjoyed reading!
Warm...intimate and gorgeous !
This is a treasure of a poem - so romantically sweet. Your delivery, your poetic voice is perfect here.
I love that it's all one sentence, flowing so easily. Beautiful words!
Wonderfully written. I'm particularly drawn to "Until I believe I am a jewel in your hand..." which is beautiful.
Thank you so much Kerry!
smiles...I'm glad they did, thanks Mary!
I love it! You've managed to capture this moment with such clarity and honesty. Dusk is a notion of half-closed lids in yellow flicks of candlelight - I wish I was there now...
Lovely images Leo, I appreciate your kind words.
Sherry, I'm glad you liked those elements of the piece--always appreciate your thoughts so much.
Thank you Ollie.
What an honor to remind you of Rilke, I'm humbled.
Thanks for reading and commenting T!
It is a gift for sure Bren...glad you enjoyed, always appreciate your thoughts.
Thank you Margaret, your comment means so much!
Glad you liked it!
Misky, I so appreciate your kind words on it. Thank you.
I do too :D
Very nice! I love how you pull it all together with the final word and a well-chosen title.
Anne @ annelaura.com
Thanks for visiting Anne Laura and leaving such a nice comment!
Beautiful! I love what you shared and the intimate dance of your words ;D
Just beautiful.
I like that term "intimate dance"! Thanks Ella :-)
Thank you :-)
from the title through the last stanza, absolutely beautiful!
♥
Glad you enjoyed it!
Wonderful imagery!
Thanks Anthony!
Lovely poem. You say so much with so few words!
Thanks Mad, glad you enjoyed!
hey dear.. that was something.. really yaar.. exceptional piece of writing.. intense feelings, lovely lines, beautifully crafted..
well written.. thumbs up
Thank you deepak.
This was like melted butter and chocolate. Warm and exquisite. Bravo!
This was like melted butter and chocolate. Warm and exquisite. Bravo!
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