the crumbs of midnight
still hang on the eaves of
disappointment
while she longs for
tenderness
from an empty bottle
of hope
it stares back, blankly
wordlessly reminding her
unfittingly placed
it does not spring eternal
nor can it button
the suit of outgrown
reasons she pulls the cork
to suck from its desiccated
dregs again
25 comments:
This is really powerful!
Really good use of your extended metaphor!
interesting.... maybe I am too literal -- but the bottle is empty, so how to drink from it? or does it mean the bottle is empty, but not actually
Anon- It is not indicated that she drinks, but rather "sucks" in an attempt to draw something from it. If you can picture a wine bottle with the residual sediment clinging to the interior.
Appreciate your thoughts Madeleine--thank you for the compliment!
Karen- Glad you found it so! Thank you for visiting and for following.
first..welcome at dVerse jennifer..cool that you're linking up with us and hope you enjoy the pub and meeting the people.. i like the images in your poems, esp. the crumbs of midnight and the trying to suck something from the emptiness..
"while she longs for tenderness
from an empty bottle" very relatable!
I love the line.."it doesn't spring eternal"... this is one to read again! thankyou.
dang this is really good....i def feel for her...taking that one more pull of hope even in the loneliness....whew...nice...great to see you at dverse
Claudia, thank you for the warm welcome, I'm looking forward to exploring the dVerse community! I really appreciate your thoughts on this one and I'm glad you enjoy the imagery. Thanks for saying so :)
Dark Angel- thank you for visiting my blog. It's always nice when someone makes a connection to your write. I appreciate your comment!
I am honored by your compliment Gerry! Thank you.
Brian, thank you very much. It's a great compliment that you like this one and that you can "see" her too. And thanks for the welcome!
Powerful piece, which can be read from many different views. I like that. Your blog name attracted me, what a super name for a blog.
Pamela
Wonderful word usage in this poem. I really love "an empty bottle of hope" as well as some other well-written metaphors!
Wow, Jennifer. You really create a feeling of almost-despair, at least bleakness. Well done. Nice to have you here.
I'm glad the name attracted you to visit :) I'm also glad you can see different angles, they were definitely intended in the piece. Thank you for your comment flaubert!
Mary, so glad you appreciate the metaphors! I value your compliment on this piece.
Victoria- I am honored by your thoughts on this write. Grateful for your welcome as well!
Powerful use of masterly woven words.
I sympathize with the subject's loss of hope. You make me want to pull the bottle from her hands...
thank you for popping in today...hope your week is going well..
Thank you very much Lori. I really value your thoughts, thanks for commenting.
...crumbs of midnight...that's very good! great exploration here.
emma- you touched on the kernel that compelled me down the trail on this write. Always appreciate your thoughts :)
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