Amanda Marie

We line pebbles

on the path,

one

for each day,

and hope for more.

Our eyes rove

the swish of leaves

in the verdant lushness

of treetops,

the bright snaps

of daisies,

the flitting burst

of butterflies

that land soft on our arms

and legs

and flip-flopped toes,

the swell

of the ocean,

dolphin-dipped

with joy.

We watch

the sky burn pink

when night falls

and the stars begin to dance;

and contemplate

how all this reminds us

of how love’s branches budded

to bring us your smile.

Maybe tonight

Gavin and Cassidy and Sawyer

will dream

of their mother’s eyes,

Derik, her voice at his ear,

and Susan

of her little girl

so brave, so strong.

Something like

God’s lovenotes

dropped

even when

we’re not looking.

And what we thought

were scattered pebbles

lost in this life’s storm

are picked up

and churned with God’s tears

and our own,

placed in His bottle

these new-polished pebbles

are jewels

close to His heart,

treasured and unforgotten,

until we see

your smile bright again

and are

together

Home.

“You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.”  Psalm 56:8 NLT

© 2014 Jennifer Wagner

Behind the poem:  a few days ago my sister asked me if I could write a poem for her sister-in-law’s daughter, Amanda, who had been a given a prognosis of two weeks to live, as a special gift to her family.  She survived leukemia as a young child and had more recently been diagnosed with cancer again.  Yesterday she passed away.  She was 31 and has three children who are 8, 6, and 4 years old.  This poem is for her, for them, the man she shared her life with, her faith-filled mom, and all her family and friends who love her and wait for the day they will be together again.  With love and prayers for comfort and peace. ~ Jen

Jael

Now, Mama Deborah was a prophet;

she knew what would happen.

She’d said a woman

was going to get the job done.

Sisera had been

dreaming of spoils—silver,

and purple garment plunder,

a woman on each shoulder—

his mother, so proud.

Until his mighty 900

were swept away

in the torrent of Kishon,

and he alone, on foot, found Jael.

And let’s just say

the stars were not aligned

in his favor.

You’d like some water?

I can do better,

here’s some milk.

Get cozy,

here’s a blanket,

that’s right,

take a load off.

There now,

rest your head—

they may not have made swords

fitted for feminine hands,

but trust me, a woman

knows how to get creative

when she must—

you may feel

a little sting;

this peg, this hammer

are no

small things.

And it happened, just

like Mama said.

© 2014 Jennifer Wagner

Notes:  Deborah was a prophetess and judge (and poet…smiles) in ancient Israel.  Sisera was a notorious commander of the army of the Canaanites who had oppressed the Israelites for many years.  Jael was the woman who defeated him by driving a tent peg through his temple with a hammer, pinning his head to the ground. 

To read both prose and poetic accounts of the story of these heroines go here:  Judges 4, 5.

For last week’s Poets United Midweek Motif:  Honoring Woman/Women’s Achievements.

Simply Jesus

your blood blooms still 

© 2013 Jennifer Wagner

When there’s not enough hyssop

to cleanse me of all these flaws—

I think I must live with them,

make slow improvements

with the

tick tick tick

of time’s cruel elements.

I know too well this unruly thing

inside me is me,

but there, too,

is the me that hungers for her first love

somewhere buried beneath

bruising, hardening, scarring

it throbs,

however disjointedly.

I am not a girl of

ritual, rules or religion.

I only know that at fifteen

I just wanted

to hold Your hand.

And now,

beyond church

and the things they add to it all,

and bitter politics

and the things they take away from it all,

and morality,

and all these rules I break—

I stand here today

wondering

when did I ever get the idea

You were not enough?

In dark,

in cloud,

in lightless days,

Your blood blooms still.

And I remember

I never needed

anything else anyway.

© 2013 Jennifer Wagner

1 Corinthians 2:2-5.  And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony^[a] of God. ² For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. ³ I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. ⁴ And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human^[b] wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, ⁵ that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

Noonday Jackals

Her thoughts took a dark turn

like jackals in the threadbare sun

ripping, ripping until she couldn’t see

herself, now a carcass of once-sought dreams;

a bone-hollow skeleton

stripped of all marrow by which future is made,

where the ink dried within.

Blood, first red then black, gathered in pools

around her head

until the ears spilled no more.

She’d done it to drown out the howling—

for who can bear the noise

of a broken heart?

The muting of syndicate

mocking and whimpering replete,

she worked the metallic taste of hate off her tongue.

It lingered though and became bitter

so she used her teeth to bite into its flesh

for nothing other than to taste a mellowing of salt.

A waft of perfume lingered in the cloying rot,

the remnant of her identity laying in the dust

while the air spilled with the scent of her decay;

a lone paper, yellowed and curled at the corners,

rattled in a wisp of wind.

A cloud began to form on the horizon,

a growing mist of dry, kicked-up earth,

swirling and choking the throat of tortuous barbs.

The cyclonic reclamation filled the desert of scars and loneliness,

returned sinew and marrow, blood and ink

to the supine form of the battered giant

of a dream so big the rabid enemy of her soul

was lost for strategy to bring down.

  

Copyright 2012 Jennifer Wagner

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

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